When I was a kid, my Mom used to tell me to “Pay attention!” quite a bit – usually when I was playing video games and ignoring her requests to do the dishes or clean my room. She wanted me to listen to her, and I was already a well-accomplished expert at hearing her, but not listening to her on any level.
Parental frustrations aside, my habit of ignoring or filtering out information that’s available through my senses has had a variety of results in my life and on my behaviors – you’ll hear me refer to the process of exploring these things as “peeling back onion layers”. Everyone has their own onion to peel, the creation of these filters is part of growing up in modern society.
Hence the phrase “expanded awareness” in the NextStage name – it refers to allowing one’s self to be more consciously aware of the information that is already coming in that most people filter out automatically in their nonconscious – me included. For me a more accurate description for expanded awareness might be “less filtered / closer to reality awareness”. Understandably though the “NextStage Less-Filtered-Closer-to-Reality-Awareness-So-I-can-be-a-better-Me-and-lead-a-better-Life Society” probably doesn’t sound as catchy – not to mention the difficulty squeezing it onto a business card.
Previously when someone told me to pay attention, I believe they usually meant to actively listen to what they were saying. Now though since I began my training here at NextStage, I’ve discovered that I can pay attention to a lot of things – not just someone talking. I’ve learned to pay attention to myself, and particularly my reactions to certain situations and people. I’ve also learned to pay more attention to other people, and to better understand what they are communicating to me beyond what they are saying (a new training will be available soon called “Know What People Are Thinking”, I highly recommend it!).
One day not too long ago, I was on a plane with some time on my hands, so I used that time to make a list of all the things that I’ve learned to pay attention to. It’s currently at 50 lines, and it grows longer all the time. There’s all kinds of things I am learning to pay more attention to – the energies around me, my teachers and guardians, the energy of the earth, the energies of the moon, my breathing, my feelings, my perceptions, even my own brain activity. I’m also learning to be aware of myself while I’m being aware of these things so I can be more aware and better understand how I can pay more attention more often to more things.
Paying attention and awareness for me are currently one-in-the-same. If I’m not paying attention, I won’t be aware. I anticipate it won’t always be this way as I “get in the habit”. One of my fellow student’s, Joe Della Rosa, wrote about that in an excellent previous post, and he also wrote about paying attention and awareness in his most recent post as well. At this stage of my training, when I want to be aware I have to pay attention and focus. And what I’ve realized is that focus takes effort and concentration.
I used to think that “focus” was something I had a certain quantity of, and once it was used up it was gone. I feel a more accurate description might be that focus is a muscle. Left unused, it becomes weak and atrophies (in my case thanks in part to the distractions of modern iPhones), but if it gets regular workouts it will get stronger.
As strong as an ox? A year ago, my focus was about as strong as an undercooked souffle.
Now I’ve started giving my focus regular exercise. Like any gym routine though, I’m not going to suddenly lift mountains of weight overnight. It has taken me time and effort. It’s actually a lot of work and can be quite exhausting. Now I’m up to about a quiche. Learning to pay attention and focus has been and continues to be hard work, and I have a long way to go before I get to ox level strength.
When my first year of training was up, my teachers asked me if I wanted to continue. Not everyone wants to put in the effort required to make progress, and re-committing to a second year is a big deal. I took that moment to ask myself – what have I achieved for myself? What are the benefits to all this “working out”? I certainly didn’t look any better in a speedo (maybe that’s year 3?).
My answers for myself were many: I let go of a lot of anxieties, I felt more in control, I was more in touch with people and the world around me, I had learned to make better decisions, I had become a more authentic version of myself – all of which meant I was more powerful, happier and successful than I’ve ever been before.
I’ve found an incredible joy in these things. Paying attention not only results in awareness, but also in appreciation and joy in savouring the moment, the people, the energies around us, and the Universe. When you discover who you truly are, and an entire new reality opens up to you, how can you not help but to be in awe?
