This is the first of a series of blog posts where I will try to describe my experiences as a student of NSEAS. My goal in doing this is to give you some idea of what it has been like for me, so that you may be able to better judge whether this kind of training is for you. If you haven’t already done so, have a look at the introduction to this series – I’d like to as you a question.
Fair warning – this type of Journey is intensely personal and subjective. I will do my best to share as much as I comfortably can, but some details will be left out. The most important thing to remember is that your Journey will be different than mine, and that’s the point. My experiences recorded here are mine and mine alone. Yours will be yours alone.
My Journey is for me, it is exactly the Journey I need to be on. Your Journey will be for you. It will be different than mine because what you need is different from what I need. Your natural skills and talents are different than mine. Your life experiences leading up to Here – this point in your life – are different than mine.
So let’s get started.
Where is my Here? I’ve been a student of NSEAS since December 2015, as I write this in June 2016, that’s about seven months. I have been doing 1-1 training remotely (via Skype), and have been to one in-person training which I just returned from this last weekend.
Allow me to back-up my story to a key moment that led me to NSEAS. On July 30, 2015, my Mother had what the doctors described as a massive heart attack. There was no warning. There were no signs or symptoms. Her cholesterol was normal. She had no previous trouble other than some well managed diabetes. There was no way to prevent or prepare for it.
What followed was three months of an incredible emotional roller coaster, from an amazing recovery to more trouble, to recovery again and finally to a down-slide leading to her eventual passing on October 11, 2015. Mom fought to keep living until her last moment, and to be honest I never knew she had it in her. The fight, the drive, the determination, the spirit that she displayed over such a long period of time was simply incredible to witness.
My Mother and I were always very close, and had grown closer over the years as we had both aged. Needless to say, I was devastated. The incredible ups and downs left me emotionally destroyed and shaken to my core.
This period of time was a key turning point in my life. It caused me to question everything. I had always self-identified as an atheist, but I could not accept that Mom would simply cease. After much pain, and much questioning, I reached out to the smartest person I knew – Joseph Carrabis.
I had known Joseph for a number of years already. We had worked together, and I considered him a friend (although an intimidatingly brilliant friend). He knew so much about so many areas of study, many of them in hard sciences and the humanities, that I thought if anyone could help me at this moment that he could. I would attempt to list out his expertise and experience here, but I’m sure I would only be skimming the surface.
Joseph had already been keeping close tabs on me during this time, always asking if I needed to talk at just the right moments. On October 3rd, before my Mom had passed, I sent Joseph an email and asked him a question.
What happens to your consciousness when you die?
Joseph responded quickly with an offer to chat. This first chat, and a series of further discussions, led to me discovering the other side of Joseph. I had known him as a business colleague and a friend, but I had no idea about the other Joseph.
At the time, I’m not sure what possessed me to ask him the question that I did, but I simply did. That first question led to more questions. Joseph’s insights into how the Universe works were simply awe-inspiring. This other Joseph had been trained in Ecstatic Shamanism, Healing, Journeying, and so much more. It was like he was two separate men, and I had only met one until now.
These discussions proved to me that Joseph’s experience of Reality was much more…much wider…much deeper… than my own. It also became clear that his awareness and skills could be learned by others (to varying degrees), and eventually I asked him if he would train me.
We talked about it, at length. The truth is, he tried to dissuade me, and with good reason. This type of training changes everything. You can’t unlearn it, you can’t go back to how you saw the world before you started. You can’t become unaware. All you can do is stop where you at (and many people who undertake The Practice do reach a point where they wish to stop).
I am still very early in my training, but I can tell you that it can be uncomfortable, sometimes even painful. Not everyone wants to, nor is everyone ready to undertake this training. It’s possible that like myself, you may experience some early successes. You will most likely also quickly realize, like I did, that this isn’t a short or easy path, and you will have to learn about parts of yourself and your life that you may not particularly like. As Joseph has said to me many times, he can show you your door, but only you can walk through it.
I now practice The Practice daily, and expect I will do so for the rest of my existence. It will be years before I’m ready to really start to apply what I’ve learned in more meaningful ways.
What do I mean by “meaningful ways”? My personal motivation behind the commitment that I’ve made is simply that I wish to make a difference in other people’s lives. It’s a basic drive for me, but one that I’ve ignored or avoided my entire life. My career, while it has always paid my rent, has never really helped anyone accomplish anything that was truly important. I’ve never saved anyone’s life, I’ve never even really helped someone’s life get better.
The work I do as a student here at NextStage is going to help me change that.
Even with a short few months behind me, my experience of Reality and my awareness of myself and the life and energies around me is already vastly different than before. My Journey ahead may be longer than I first thought, but the rewards are already vastly bigger and more incredible than I had ever imagined. I’ve experienced some extraordinary things I wouldn’t have believed possible before. I’ve also learned some extraordinary things about myself, about my past, about the Universe, about Reality, and about where my life is heading.
I’ll dig in to a lot of these topics in future posts, but for now if you want to start your Journey and expand your awareness, please take your time and explore our many offerings. You will find here many doors to your next experience.