In writing these blogs I sometimes will get in my own way. I feel that the blogs must all be stellar, imparting words of wisdom that readers will be in awe of. Well as I like to say…there’s theory and there’s reality. In theory all blog post would be stellar imparting great words of wisdom that people were just waiting to hear. In reality it’s tough to think of posts on a regular basis let alone stellar ones. Sometimes this gets in the way of me writing a post. I think that each one must have a “great message”. Well…guess what; sometimes letting people know that it’s been a rough patch of days or incredibly normal and nothing outstanding has come to mind to blog about is fine.
Themes…themes and nothing really new…
I’ve written a few posts on what I’ve been going through with my Mother’s passing. The family is still dealing with the estate, primarily the house, so I’ve not had much time to write. We’re getting the house ready to go on the market. There are piles of stuff now. Stuff to go to Goodwill, stuff to go to Habitat for Humanity, and piles of stuff for the trash. We’ve gone the dumpster route and filled that. Now the trash pile contains things that the regular garbage collection can handle. There’s an end in sight! So right now my times being taken up with the estate and the emotions that I’m dealing with, the loss of my mother, a change in routine around the holidays and my relative’s idiocy (from my perspective) as we go through this period.
And as I said above…THERE IS AN END IN SIGHT…until then…I’ surviving off the mountain top and in the trenches.
I’ve been wondering – is it ok to sometimes retreat to the mountain top? Or is it a form of avoiding responsibility if it all gets too much? Is there such a thing as too much? I’m reminded of an earlier lesson of “the Universe will only give you what you can handle”, but sometimes I really do want to go hide in the woods for a while.
I think it’s OK to retreat to the mountain top. The mountain top is different for everyone. Mine is the beach, sometimes kayaking around a lake or even sitting on our back porch watching and listening to the birds and other sounds of nature. It’s fine to retreat to think things over, recenter and re balance ourselves. I can deal with things much better after a trip back to the mountain top. We can’t always do that in the trenches. It sometimes can get overwhelming, yes…there can be such a thing as too much, too much in the trenches, too much on the mountain top, too much responsibility, too much isolation, too much introspection. So long as the retreat to the mountain top isn’t an avoidance of things, but a respite so you can center yourself to better deal with things, it’s fine, it’s taking care of yourself and realizing you need a temporary break.
I agree with Susan. Sometimes retreating is necessary. In the extreme it can be an act of self-preservation (and it’s a danger sign when it gets to that point). The title line in Maugham’s “The Razor’s Edge” (read the book, see the movie. Especially the Bill Murray version. Incredible) comes from a conversation between the protagonist and one of his teachers. The protagonist wants to return to civilization. The teacher says that being spiritual in society is like walking a razor’s edge.
So again, I agree with Susan. I believe one of the goal’s of The Practice is to be the mountain top, to have it as part of your every day existence so that you don’t need to retreat because you’re already there while also being in society. That’s one of my goals, anyway.
PS) I’m not there yet, just working towards it.