Life Off the Mountaintop, Part 4 – Gift Giving

An appropriate topic for the upcoming holidays and really any time of the year is the wonderful ritual of gift giving. This is where everyone shows us just how little they know about the person that they’re buying a gift for. No one’s immune to it. Spouses, parents, friends and co-workers all think that they know what the person they’re buying for wants. It’s a great time to use The Practice as you decide how you’re going to react to that “perfect” gift that someone spent hours looking for.

Family
My family used to make Christmas/Birthday lists back when we exchanged gifts. Then we all decided that getting together was the real gift and besides, who needed another ticky tacky nicky nacky that took up room and most likely needed dusting. My mother never referred to the list so I finally asked her why we bothered to make one when she never got anything on it.

She thought it was better to surprise us rather than give us something we asked for, thereby knowing what we might be getting. One year I ended up with purple fuzzy slippers so the running joke for that Christmas was that I was waiting for the rest of my “My Little Pony” outfit (remember that toy? The pony had purple hair). I still have those slippers and love them all the more because we made a joke out of them (and I also happen to love purple).

My mother never got my husband’s gifts quite right. Instead of getting upset, it became a joke about how off the gift was. Was it too small, something he’d never wear or was the color something out of the 70’s (and the designer was having too much fun at the time)?

People say that it’s the thought that counts. I don’t agree. When a list is provided and the giver chooses to deviate and comes up with something else…where’s the thought? And to be honest most people don’t know others well enough to surprise them as intended.

Gifts in General
I seem to have a different opinion of gift giving than most. I put a lot of thought into picking, and in most cases, making a gift for someone. I notice what colors they wear, what the wear, what they like, etc. If I goof and the gift isn’t right I always tell the person to re-gift it. Pass it on to someone who can use it. I’m not offended. I’ll do better next time (for the record this rarely happens with the gifts I give people).

Gift giving is more about the giver than the receiver. I love to make things, eatable and wearable, and give them to people as gifts. My family benefits greatly from my various hobbies and holiday baking. I enjoy the creation process and the giving.

We give things to others mostly so we can feel good. When given out of obligation there are “strings” attached to the gift. It’s not enjoyable to be obligated to give something. Even when this occurs I think of different gifts to give so I enjoy the process. Gift giving during the holidays at work can be an example of the obligatory gift that has to be given at the office party. Think outside the box for a gift and at least you’ll enjoy the giving.

I love chocolate and for years my mother would give me a HUGE box of various flavors of hot chocolate that she got at a box store. I could never drink all of it in a year, and year after year I would tell her I had enough from the previous year so I didn’t need any more.

Sure enough there’d be another box under the tree. Using The Practice I would thank her and mark that gift for donation to a local food bank the next time they were collecting. It’s much less work and takes less energy to respond this way. Rather than upsetting my elderly mother and having bad energy at a celebration I choose my response and move on with my life knowing that someone will be able to use what I can’t.

So the next time your aunt or someone gives you that “perfect” gift choose your response then re-gift it to someone who will appreciate the item or donate it to a charity. I know one charity that’s running out of hot chocolate right about now.

Next up…who knows? I’m not sure where my mind and the energies in my life will take me.