This past weekend I took a trip to Florida to deal with some family issues as a result of Hurricane Matthew and to visit my Grandparents. My Grandfather has some dementia so there is this sense that each moment with him is precious. Before setting out on the trip to Florida, my Grandfather counseled me on driving safely saying, “If you drive 60 miles per hour, you will only get here 20 minutes later.”
So I drove to Florida slower than I would have. I’m unsure if it was exactly 20 minutes later that I arrived but that’s beside the point. For years now, I have felt that there is a lot to be learned from how people drive. Due to the nature of my work, I have had the opportunity to drive for an extended period of time in nine different states. While there are differences, there are quite a few similarities between the drivers in these states. For example, there are always drivers who speed to red lights, forcing themselves to practically slam on their breaks. Another example is, when my attention is drawn to a driver who is tailgating or otherwise driving aggressively, and I watch them speed past in a fit of rage, I find that more often than not, I will catch up to them driving steadily and calmly. Some of this is due to the aptitude of Traffic Engineers and Civil Engineers. But I also notice this on highways during long stretches.
I have been guilty of this myself. I have been in a rush and weaved in and out of traffic to find that 10 minutes later the cars I drove by have caught up with me when I reach the next group of cars. And I have timed myself driving to and from work and found that more often than not speeding and driving aggressively only saves me about 5 minutes. Sometimes not even that if I happen to hit more red lights than usual. Is it worth the 5 minutes saved to add stress to myself and those around me? To put us all in danger? I have no choice but to be in that car for that time so why not pop in a book on tape or some Bach and Savor that time? A wise man once told me, “my journey is my goal, my path is my prize.”
And so it is with the Practice.
I’m reminded of Gallagher’s (the comedian) story about this. He was driving in his hometown and somebody came speeding up behind him, pulled ahead of him, threaded the needle going in and out of lanes, cut people off, so on and so forth, and eventually stopped at a red light.
With Gallagher, who’d driven safely and sanely, right behind him.
Gallagher got out of his car, walked up to the other person’s car, tapped on the window and asked, “What was that all about?”
He tells it much better than I.
And I think we’re all been on both sides of this. I know I have.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for this. It’s a good reminder for me to not rush towards a destination, and to take joy in the journey. – whether in driving or in life.
You’re welcome, I need to remind myself of this often.
That “take joy in the journey” part is the whole focus of Enjoy the Ride. Enjoying the ride was something Susan taught me many years ago (she’d just figured it out as part of her own Practice, shared it with me and I’ve been grateful ever since). This one thing has turned many arduous, numbingly long travels into wondrouw journeys of learning and pleasure.
Thanks for this reminder. I discovered this when I was commuting to Cambridge MA everyday some years ago. Rte 3 was only 2 lanes and granted there weren’t as many cars on the road, but i still ran into traffic jams. I was a more aggressive driver until I realized, like you, I wasn’t doing myself any favors. I still got to work, maybe 10 minutes earlier, but usually not as relaxed. Now when traffic is slow I just enjoy the scenery, especially now during foliage season and get amused at everyone who has to zoom passed me to catch up to the traffic jam ahead.
I miss the foliage of New England so much! Thanks for reading!